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Renewal and Light

October 29, 2012 by Irmgarde Brown

Restart. Rewind. Renew. Begin . . . again. Yesterday, Pastor Jess said, “no one is unreachable.” There is a time and a place for everyone. There is a moment of discovery, a moment when the “light” wins. Today, in the midst of the biggest storm (Hurricane Sandy) the Mid-Atlantic has ever experienced, the light is coming back on in my spirit, finally. Like the tiny flame of a candle in a dark room, it reveals much. It’s time to fan the flame. I am turning on despite the lights outside going out.

Genesis 1:1-3
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.

When God, who is able to create “something out of nothing,” created light, God stopped and looked around and said, “good stuff,” good work, well done: this is pleasing. Light is good. Revelation is good. Renewal is good.

It’s possible that we will lose power soon and light will be hard to come by in the natural world. We will be plunged into the darkness of the storm. And we will have to find sustenance in the small things and the small lights. We will hold fast to those lights. And we will have to remind ourselves of the hope that promises greater lights in the days to come: recovery, rebuilding, renewal. It will be possible again.

In the meantime, however, I want to remember that my own small light began to shine again today. The word was illuminated and I breathed in Spirit.

 

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Tree Hugger

September 30, 2012 by Irmgarde Brown

Tree by Vicky Brago Mitchell

Tree hugger has become, in some circles, a euphemism for left-winger or environmentalist or maybe “commie-fascist-pig.” It’s that bad. Tree huggers are seen to be superfluous and extreme, as though they care more about trees and mice and rivers than they do about oil and energy and pragmatism. Ironic, how many times scripture compares a blessed person to a tree. And one of the most important symbols is the “tree of life.” But of course, that must be different. Or is it?

Psalm 1:3
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.

It’s a good thing, then, to be compared to a tree. Perhaps it came out of the climate where trees were appreciated. I remember my first trip out west by car and how we looked and look for a shady tree to stop for lunch. Another time, I booked a tent site in a camp ground near the beach. It never occurred to me that the site would have no trees. The “gorgeous” weather proved to be monotonous without the blessing of natural shade.

Our current house backs up to the woods. It is the reason we wanted this piece of property (although my big dream is to live near water — river, ocean, lake, etc.); the next best is trees. They are in constant motion really through their partnership with the wind. They are a nesting ground for all kinds of animals. They are part of the cycle of life and clean air. I have never told anyone before, but within days of our move-in, I felt compelled to do something very “new agey” and thank the trees for their sacrifice since hundreds were downed and destroyed in the name of our suburban sprawl. It just seemed right.

One of my favorite nature images is a winter tree silhouetted by the setting sun. I can’t explain that. So, yes, I really am a quiet advocate for trees. And yet, I am also careless as most urban dwellers. I use a lot of paper (it doesn’t look like a tree) and I enjoy the gifts of wood from floor to ceiling. I even live in a wood house.

Maybe that’s the real problem. I like the “idea” of trees; I like them conceptually. It’s not too different from liking the idea of being a follower of Christ. I can romanticize that too. I can sing all the right songs and wear the right jewelry. I can roll out a few scriptures, and I can pray a good prayer. I am a cross hugger about as much as I am a tree hugger.

But just as the rainforests are being systematically destroyed God’s natural world is being polluted, so are children of God starving around the world. . . starving for food as well as spirit. People are dying by violence and neglect. A monthly check to one organization or another is no longer enough.

Save the trees :: Save the people.

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Walk, Stand, Sit

September 23, 2012 by Irmgarde Brown

Here’s a few questions I find myself pondering: where do I walk? Where do I stand? and Where do I sit? I mean, in my every day life, am I putting myself in harm’s way, despite being unengaged? Am I assuming that my lack of a direct encounter with the “enemy” means I am unaffected by the surround? Does passivity promise protections (forgive the alliteration)? Apparently not.


Psalm 1:1-2
Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night. [NIV]

Funny, I had forgotten about the old Watchman Nee (1957) book called Sit, Walk, Stand, which has a slightly different take on these same words with different order and as a result, a different emphasis: sitting as rest in God (finding strength there), to walk in trust and perseverance, and then to stand in faith to end. All valid points.

But I am taking the psalmists interpretation of these words to heart. This first verse is really a series of 3 “do not’s” and the more active “do” is quite simple: meditate on the Word. That’s prayer, that’s consciousness, that’s intentional.

Our pastor tries to give us “action” steps each week and this is mine for myself:

  • Watch where I am walking; look around; examine the stimuli around me; where am I headed and why; use the time well.
  • Stand on solid surfaces on purpose; be centered and grounded; be aware of the temperature and the environment; use the time well.
  • Sit alertly; notice what I am watching (as in television) or listening to (as in radio); where do my eyes wander and am I judging the others “walking” by? Use the time well.

For example, yesterday, I ran several errands throughout the day and while waiting for my daughter to finish her hair and doctor’s appointments, I wasted the time with Sudoku and Words with Friends. Or, in the evening, I watched a show on television I had already seen, but was too lazy to either change the channel or go to bed. My reasoning? I don’t watch TV that much, so I can afford to just “veg.” I’m not saying I can’t do those things, but in most of those cases, I just did them by default. I didn’t choose, I just allowed. Wasting time is OK as long as it’s intentional. But if it’s not, then really, the time is being stolen from me.

And lastly, I considered this idea of “meditating.” I’ve struggled with this idea before. After all, who hasn’t read Brother Lawrence’s Practice the Presence of God? (If you missed it, go to the library.) I was always a little numb after reading it. That’s impossible. I can’t do it. I can’t pray without ceasing. My life is too full.

And so, with all the “I cannnot’s” rolling around in my head, I can excuse any effort whatsoever.

But a couple of years ago, I challenged myself with praying the Hours and although it was difficult, I had some success. And looking back? It made a difference. And now, I’m thinking, maybe just a single verse in a single day, a popular verse, so that I’m not overwhelmed with memorization or some such, just a thrum, a slight little thing to repeat when I am quiet, before I click on the app.

You won’t believe it, but there’s actually a website called, Top Verses: The Bible, Sorted. Perfect. The top, most referenced verse on the web is no surprise, John 3:16; so that’s my verse for today. And when they sort the Psalms, verse 1:1 is near the top, the same verse that challenged me today as I start my next drive through the Word, through Psalms. I’m digging for God again.

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Climbing Back Up

September 18, 2012 by Irmgarde Brown

I understand the command to pray, or to “call out” to God; I understand “asking” for help; I understand the concept of blessings and the intent of intercession. I know there are answered prayers and there are unanswered prayers. I know it is implied and implored. It is a discipline and a state of being. It is a foundation of faith. I know these things. And yet, my prayer life diminished. I am hollow in prayer. My prayer has become relegated to the emergency and no longer the essence of my day and breath. I was there and now I am not. I was deep and now I am shallow again.

I was floating in the deep waters. I am back in the sand and it is low tide, the water of life seeming to retreat.

I have not recovered from the ending of my project in study and prayer and writing. That held me close but once the regimen was removed, my house collapsed. There is a sorrow now in me. And flagging sense of loss once more. An attack of remorse and disappointment that is hard to shake.

I skied up and down some great mountains and hills and my momentum kept me going for a long time. But now, I am on a wide plateau and there is no motor, no synergy, no muse, no battery pack. There is only the craggy rocks before me with no guide wires. I am looking for the first hand hold, the first leap, the first small goal to reach in order to begin with a sense of possibility.

To do first. . . to pray . . . to read . . . to serve . . . to wait . . . ?

Like an alcoholic who was doing so well and then drinks again, so have I been. There is nothing left but to slog back again to authentic sobriety, which for me, is authentic spirituality.

I took a vacation from my inner self, expecting the connection to remain open and instead found my inner spirit roaming like my cell phone, and now, out of power. Plug in, sure. But to what first?

I think it’s prayer. I think it’s stillness. I think. Breathe. Breathe.

Just a little worried. This time.

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Beatitude

August 9, 2012 by Irmgarde Brown

I looked it up, the word, beatitude. It actually comes from the Latin word, beātitūdō, which means perfect happiness. I was already suspect with the idea of “perfect,” not to mention the leap to my struggle with perfectionism. Add the expectation of happiness, a most elusive beast [it’s right up there with joy], and I feel like the entire premise is a prescription for failure.

Matthew 5:1-3a
Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them. Blessed are . . .

Of course, it gets worse before it gets better. Most people have the general understanding of the beatitudes. They know it’s a list of blessings based on a series of paradoxical statements. In other words, be perfectly happy when you are poor in spirit, mourning, meek, hungry for righteousness, merciful, and pure in heart while peacemaking and being persecuted. Now, if that doesn’t make you want to jump up and follow Jesus, what will?

I’m only kidding, of course. But really, the beatitudes feel like the high end of understanding and following Jesus. Despite professing the Christ for over thirty years, I break out in a sweat when I have to revisit the beatitudes. They seem to uncover me or reveal me in a way that nothing else in scripture does. I feel like I need to go to a meeting, stand up and say, “Hi, I’m Irmgarde, and I’m not living out the beatitudes.”

You know, the implication is that this was the summary teaching, the preview of everything that came later. Jesus ultimately walked out these seven verses [Matthew 4:3-10] in the next three years of his ministry. And all the while, he’s saying, this is the way despite what you may think or see. Here is the real freedom. Here is answer to what it means to be fully human.

Let’s all pause and think about that today.

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Why Did They Follow Him?

August 5, 2012 by Irmgarde Brown

Of course, we know why a lot of them followed Jesus. He was healing the sick, and at the beginning of his mission/ministry, he was healing them all. He was a sensation! Who wouldn’t follow? Don’t we do the same today? Don’t we follow the wondrous . . . the unbelievable . . . the news worthy . . . the tragedies . . . and the inexplicable?

Matthew 4:24-25
News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed; and he healed them.Large crowds from Galilee, the Decapolis,Jerusalem, Judea and the region across the Jordan followed him.

If Jesus was doing the same thing today that he was doing back then, he wouldn’t just have a few hundred or thousand following, he would have millions through the Internet and media. It would be a real circus.

He had only just started his ministry according to Matthew. He was making the circuit around Galilee, stopping into various synagogues along the way and teaching about the kingdom of God being near and close at hand. (It was thirty square miles.) He had headed back home to Nazareth first, got shut out of his home church and then headed to Capernaum (via Cana) where his reputation both followed and preceded him. His notoriety started heating up pretty fast.

Currently, we’re in Olympics fever from London, and I marvel as I watch the various athletes exhibit their best efforts while being followed by a slew of reporters and cameramen. There are remote cameras following them above the water as well as along the track. There are satellite cameras and there are long lenses poking out from every corner. Every movement, every tear, every laugh or smile, is caught on camera. Every win, whether by a long shot or a hair’s breadth, is captured.

Can you imagine the cameras capturing the healings of the Christ? Who would interpret? Who would be the pundits? Who would get the first interview? What would the witnesses say? How long would the healed person be followed around by reporters, perhaps looking for a fake? Where would Jesus go to avoid the constant barrage of both the needy people as well as the rubber-neckers? Where would Jesus go to bypass the media? And who would know the truth? Would we believe what we saw on camera? Would we follow Him on Fox News or NPR? Would we snatch up People magazine to see the pictures of someone rising from the dead? Or would we pick up the Inquirer in the grocery line that exposes Jesus as a fraud?

What keeps me following Him today? Is it the scripture stories? Is it the fellow believers? Is it my circumstances, once dire, and now more stable? Is it the miraculous or the mundane? Is it the charismatic pastor or the throbbing music beat at church?

There were times in my journey when I longed to see and experience more of this Jesus/Holy Spirit, not unlike the fantastic descriptions in scripture, written and retold, and then sustained by faith and repetition through the centuries. I wanted a miracle! Each decade in the 20th century has brought various phenomena, from speaking in tongues, to falling in the spirit, to laughing in the spirit, to prophetic utterances, to spontaneous healings, to golden dust falling on the faithful. Each manifestation brought thousands into a place and time, who like the followers of Jesus, wanted to see, hear, and feel, a tangible presence of God. And although it was often fleeting, many were not disappointed. At least, not at first. But then the phenomena passed, the touched people moved on, the crowds thinned, and we looked for the next manifestation.

But who/what did we follow? The miracles or the person? Who did they follow? The miracles or the person?

And all the while. The kingdom was near and still is. The kingdom is within us; in our midst. [Luke 17:21] Here. Everything needed is right here. Right now.

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Bait the Hook

July 31, 2012 by Irmgarde Brown

Illustration by Brain Danaher

I’m not much into fishing. In fact, I’d say I’ve gone fishing exactly one time. This metaphor for drawing people to the Christ doesn’t exactly resonate. My view of fishing: get some equipment, pick/find a spot, bait the hook, throw it out and wait; get a nibble and yank like crazy. Lose fish. Start over.

Matthew 4:19-20
As He was walking by the Sea of Galilee, He noticed two brothers, Simon who is called Peter and Andrew his brother, throwing a dragnet into the sea, for they were fishermen. And He said to them, Come after Me [as disciples—letting Me be your Guide], follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men! [Amplified]

What’s the attraction for fishing? I see people fishing off our town dock all the time. Sometimes in small groups, sometimes alone, sometimes with a kid-relative. When I go on vacation, there are signs everywhere for bait (apparently different bait works with different fish – I got that much). And the first time I actually walked around the fishing department of a sports store, I was shocked. There were so many different lures and poles and gadgets. Did these actually make someone a better fisherman or just high tech?

But let’s go back to the message behind the metaphor. Jesus was talking to fishermen who used nets. It was more like a drop it in and haul ’em out kind of fishing. The expectation was that “human fish” would be hauled in by the hundreds and even thousands. I wonder if the fishermen-disciples started out expecting some additional equipment.

In the end, the fishing was done quite differently: travel, talk, share, teaching, listen, accept, and invite. The bait was love. Only one kind: unconditional.

Some people still think fishing for people requires a lot of extra stuff like buildings and hot worship music and lights and video and an “online presence.” Are people so different today? Or are we just in a hurry?

Peter was in a hurry. By the time he got to the day of Pentecost, he was bringing in believers by the net full. But in the end, despite the initial haul, the most effective method was still travel (go to where the fish are), talking (give and take conversation), sharing (give what you have and can), teaching (what you’ve learned long the way), listening (everyone has a story), accepting (practicing the art of non-judgment), inviting (live life together) and love (do, act, and touch in their best interests).

In God’s time, I am fishing every time I with someone, every time I engage with someone, every time I touch someone, every time I share space with another human being. My success as a fisher-woman is my commitment to handing out the bait.

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