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Posts Tagged ‘renewal’

Bless me too, please. Please?

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 16, 2012| Leave a Comment »

hamsterPoor Esau. I mean it, really. Loses his birthright at the hands of his clever brother and then loses his blessing. In the natural order, he was “due” both of these things, and yet, at birth, it was prophesied while still in the womb that one would be stronger than the other and the older would serve the younger. Isaac’s blessing merely hammered that one home.

Genesis 27:34-35
When Esau heard his father’s words, he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, “Bless me—me too, my father!” But he said, “Your brother came deceitfully and took your blessing.”

So, what is left for Esau? What blessing does he get? Nothing much to write home to Mom about: no fruitfulness from the earth, no dew from heaven, live by the sword and serve your brother.

Like a little hamster on a wheel, much energy with no reward. Esau’s fate was being put through a very narrow opening. He lost so much and did not realize the true seriousness of it until it was too late.

Am I the same? Haven’t there been warnings along the way? Didn’t I know my choices were taking me down the road? Didn’t I sense trouble? I did, but didn’t trust it. I just kept on. Forged ahead. Assumed it was fine. All would be well.

Of course, in some ways, that is true. God showed up and did some circumstantial transformation. But there was a great cost. There were many losses along the way. I didn’t come to the things of God until my late twenties, a failed marriage, a failed career, and an isolation that can be called loneliness in the midst of chaos.

We all make mistakes in those years, don’t we? If only, if only, we had paid attention. Esau didn’t. I didn’t. So, the end has come out better than I deserved. Truly. But I know, in my heart, I know, I missed the blessing originally intended for me. I neglected the opportunity.

But, the grace of God is still greater than my error. I have a life, a family, children, a house, a car, a job. I have a comfort that is beyond anything I expected or deserved. I see that clearly. But I still remember those other days, those days when I lost the blessing intended for me. Not by the deceit of another, but by my own near-sightedness.

Forgive me Father.

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On Leaving the Ark

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on November 11, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Painting by Frank Wesley

It was not a quick departure from the ark at all. Depending on the counting system one uses and the assumptions about the calendar, it was a good year that everyone was on the ark. A full year in a small space. A full year in which a whole set of norms were created. When the door opened, everything changed, again.

Genesis 8:15-16a; 9:6
Then God said to Noah,“Come out of the ark. . . . And for your lifeblood I will surely demand an accounting. I will demand an accounting from every animal. And from each human being, too, I will demand an accounting for the life of another human being.

The implication of a couple of verses seems to be that there was not a lot of animal eating on the ark. That makes sense since the there were a limited number of animals that could be there. Was the situation more like the exodus when shoes did not wear out and people survived on manna? Who knows. But one thing is clear, once they left the ark, Human was given, once again, full authority over all living creatures and could eat of them (as long as the lifeblood was not in them – a somewhat anti-vampire mandate).

But even more important, along with the promise (and subsequent covenant God makes with and to Human), God also announces a required  accounting from each and every living creature, including Human, on earth. In essence, if “you” (living thing) are going to live on this earth, if I (God) am going to give you a fresh start, then you have to report out on how you used this gift of life.

I wonder if I had a stronger sense of this in my own life if I would make different choices?

Instead of worrying about “not” sinning or avoiding “bad things,” wouldn’t it be better to be more conscious of the good use of time, the strong ROI of my investment of time, money, and energy.

They say that many people who have a near-death experience often view life differently from then on. And depending on their foundation, they either become lackadaisical (what’s the point) or they become keenly focused on making each day count. It is a question one hears, “What if you had x amount of days to live, how would you live differently? . . . or would you?

Becoming a follower Christ, is a little like coming out an ark. It, too, is a fresh start. As a new believer, it is so much easier to see and feel the renewal. But, as we grow older in the faith, I think we lose touch with the wonder and worse, we lose touch with our accounting.

I think it’s daily actually. It should be part of our prayer life. I would like to bring it into my own prayers, my evening prayers, my review of the day. Oh Lord, this is what I did with this day, your gift to me. Forgive the missteps; rejoice with me in your moments; and thanks for the grace when I was afraid.

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Perpetual Teenager

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 31, 2012| 1 Comment »

Based on Genesis 2:1-9 and Notes from Zondervan’s Spiritual Renewal Bible (hereinafter called SRB).

My first thoughts today were all about “why.” Why is there a “second” creation story? Why do we have the big overview in chapter 1, only to rewrite the story in chapter 2 (with changes and anomalies). This is probably a huge controversy out there in Bible land or, at the least, fodder for commentators and PhD candidates.

In the SRB notes, it is noted that in 2:4, it is the first time that God is referred to as Yahweh, the Hebrew form for God, the unnameable one, and yet the One that is in relationship with human. And so it occurred to me that this part of the Bible is the relationship story between Yahweh, the creator and his created humans. And, if it’s anything like the creative process I go through (as well as thousands of other writers), the creation part is fun and almost easy, but it’s the re-write that is hard. It’s in the rewrite that the product is transformed and perfected.

We are all in the human rewrite process.

So, how did this happen? I’m guessing that God followed through on his big plan (see Creation Story & Me) and decided to replicate himself. But here’s the hinky part: God is a being of free will of choice. And as a result, created beings have the same DNA.

One of the ways we see immediately this situation is the two trees in the garden (planted together in the center of the garden) where one, from which human could freely eat, was the tree of life (yum!) and the other was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. We know this story. Don’t eat from the second tree. Choose wisely.

But, here’s where we humans tend to  be perpetual teenagers: when told not to do something, it becomes the very thing we want to do. God is saying, “I made you and you can choose to be like me” by following in my path, eating from the tree of life, etc. Or you can choose to be “not like me” by eating of the other tree. (This is really interesting since we know that the “serpent/Satan” convinced human that eating of the second tree would be the “more like God” choice when, in reality, the opposite was true. Lies, lies, and more lies. But I get ahead of myself.)

As parents, aren’t we doing the same thing: be like me. Learn from my mistakes. Let me warn you about the second tree (or whatever it might be) and yet, they often choose outside of our hope for them. And as a result, a different path is trudged.

We had those choices. We still do.

Will I be a perpetual teenager and keep choosing my own way or will I finally get it?

Choose God’s way.

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Creation Story & Me

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 30, 2012| 3 Comments »

Based on Genesis 1:1-31

Here’s what I’m thinking: there is a pattern to the creation story that can be replicated in my own spiritual renewal journey. The one I started yesterday. Again. Of course, each day is a new journey and each valley makes for a different trek up the next mountain. I know that. But for the sake of reflection, here’s what I picked up from the 7 day model.

Day One: Light, or discovery. See Renewal and Light post. It’s when a person realizes that something has to change.

Day Two: Separation (like light & darkness, water & sky). It’s really a way to get some order out of chaos. This will be my next challenge and it would be lovely if it would only take a day, but I’m thinking I’ll be at this stage for awhile. Everything got away from me and it’s time to do some sorting: save, toss, or give away. Those are the choices.

Day Three: Growth. Once there’s a little order, then there’s breathing space for growth (vegetation started on this day) and I can see how important it will be to build on what I discover.

Day Four: Time and Milestones. When God placed the sun and the moon and the stars, in my mind, these became a type of measurement. Time was established and the rhythms of life. And so it is in a time of renewal. As there is growth, then there need to be milestones and landmarks along the way. That’s the way I’ll be able to remember. It’s important to mark the time.

Day Five: Multiplication. This is interesting to me that the multiplication part actually starts before the big Kahuna was created (human beings). So, that means, that while I am growing and marking my development, I will also be multiplying “self.” That is, the self that I am becoming, the learnings, the developments, the comprehension, and maybe, if I can sustain this journey, the wisdom.

Day Six: Human (in God’s image). That’s huge. True humanity is true holiness and godliness. I’d love to think I could “arrive” at human one day, but instead, I know, there are only glimpses on this side of heaven (as it were). But there are moments and in those moments, there is love and kindness and generosity and thoughtfulness and patience and transparency and selflessness and yes, even sacrifice. That is Human to which God wants us to aspire.

Day Seven: Rest. Selah (pause and calmly think about that).

And then start all over again. Thanks God for taking me along this way again. Thanks for giving me a “Way” to you. You laid it out even before you sent the Christ.

Glory be to God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

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Renewal and Light

Posted in Ordinary Time, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 29, 2012| 4 Comments »

Restart. Rewind. Renew. Begin . . . again. Yesterday, Pastor Jess said, “no one is unreachable.” There is a time and a place for everyone. There is a moment of discovery, a moment when the “light” wins. Today, in the midst of the biggest storm (Hurricane Sandy) the Mid-Atlantic has ever experienced, the light is coming back on in my spirit, finally. Like the tiny flame of a candle in a dark room, it reveals much. It’s time to fan the flame. I am turning on despite the lights outside going out.

Genesis 1:1-3
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.

When God, who is able to create “something out of nothing,” created light, God stopped and looked around and said, “good stuff,” good work, well done: this is pleasing. Light is good. Revelation is good. Renewal is good.

It’s possible that we will lose power soon and light will be hard to come by in the natural world. We will be plunged into the darkness of the storm. And we will have to find sustenance in the small things and the small lights. We will hold fast to those lights. And we will have to remind ourselves of the hope that promises greater lights in the days to come: recovery, rebuilding, renewal. It will be possible again.

In the meantime, however, I want to remember that my own small light began to shine again today. The word was illuminated and I breathed in Spirit.

 

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Stop! Just Stop!

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on March 23, 2012| 2 Comments »

Any change, any redirection, any assessment of the present requires a stop. Plain and simple.

Isaiah 1:16b-17
. . . stop doing wrong. Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.

When our high energy Boston Terrier, Rocky, is over the top and we are trying to settle him down, it has to be cold turkey. We have to stop throwing the toy or stop engaging him in any way. That little dog is addicted to the high of chase and retrieve. He is not able to stop himself. He would probably keel over in exhaustion before he would stop if we didn’t make him stop.

There are stories in the human world that are not that different. They call it intervention.

So, based on this scripture, here’s the way it might work:

  1. Stop doing what you’re doing.
  2. Learn a better way.
  3. Seek justice.

It makes sense really because the process of learning a different way or better way to act, behave, operate in our world will reveal the injustices that proliferate in our society. The better way is littered with the shredded souls who tried and failed, who went back to the old way, who could not master themselves or the demands of change.

Everyone needs help after the stop. Just the learning alone is treacherous.

My daughter is an ESOL (English as a Second Language) learner. Even after 5 1/2 years in this country, she struggles with the nuance of the language and the vocabulary that is unique to a variety of subjects. But, she is determined all the same. She stopped the downhill pull in high school and decided she would attend community college. But the challenges did not stop. And as she plugs along, she has experienced unfair treatment and mockery by students and teachers alike. We are working together to remedy this, but it’s a slog.

In the bigger picture, Isaiah writes, once the path toward justice is found, then we are strengthened and we can take what we have learned about stopping, learning and seeking justice to reach out to others, those others oppressed by the powerful, the disengaged, the blind proud.

Orphans are at particular risk. Without love, how do they survive? What choices will they make to get what they can get, to show the world, to play the odds.

Jesus said the poor will always be with us [Matthew 26:11], but must the orphans be relegated to this statement as well?

If every family of moderate means or every single adult would adopt just one orphan, what would happen? Start there. We are without excuse in this country. Even if we don’t have the courage or interest in the orphans of the world, shouldn’t we, at the least, adopt our own?

In Old Testament times, the poor of the poor were the widows. So much depended on the willingness of families and children to care for them, but often, they could not. There was no legal provision for them. And although most widows fair much better in our society financially (unless there was nothing to begin with), they are still in need of emotional support. I know I have stumbled here as well, intending to reach out, but getting too caught up in my own world.

Isn’t that the way of it? My own world, my little sphere, my own boundaries.

Isn’t it time to just stop and take a breath, to look around myself, to assess the way, to learn something new?

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Holy Spirit Soap

Posted in Lent, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 23, 2011| 2 Comments »

Starting over. That’s what rebirth and renewal are all about. Starting over. The trick is getting the right stuff, the right soap, for washing away the crap. Despite all good intentions, there’s only One soap that works: the suds and bubbles of the Holy Spirit.

Titus 3:4-5
But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, . . .

I can’t make myself new or clean. I can even take a bath in all the good things of life, but the inner life is cleansed by Spirit and nothing else.

I have always recoiled at the standard Christian phrase, “Have you been born again?” I know it’s in scripture, the phrase was used by Jesus himself to Nicodemus [John 3:6-7]. But, at that time, the phrase wasn’t used to separate the good ones from the really good ones, the saved ones from the really saved ones, and so on.

And yet, I wonder, how different would it be to ask, “Have you Started Over?” Isn’t this what most people really want and need? People who are enmeshed in habits and addictions, abusive relationships, cyclical poverty, dead-end jobs, bottomless grief, or numbing isolation, wouldn’t the offer of starting over and beginning anew, or turning a corner where the past no longer drove actions or decisions, where the weight of mistakes no longer caused slow shuffling steps, wouldn’t that be a cause for hope?

In actuality, with the presence of the Holy Spirit, every day is a new day and a new start. Every day is a beginning. Every day is filled with possibilities.

Wash me today, Lord. Wash me today.

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